Incident – Named driver with own insurance

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I am a named driver on my wife’s insurance, but I have my own policy too.
I was involved in a minor incident with another car, while driving her car. I’d say it was 90% my fault.
Luckily outcome, very little damage on both cars, just a scratch/little dent on the bumper.
I gave the other driver the insurance details, but realised it was my wife’s details, so I gave them mine too as I assumed they would claim against my policy, as my insurance grants me the right to drive other cars, but I got the letter today from the insurer and it is linked to my wife’s policy. (We have the same insurer)
Is it how this is supposed to be, or do I have ‘wiggle room’ and decide which policy to put the claim against?
If so, I am wondering which would be better. I have 9 years NCB, her insurance is brand new. I may be better of it is claimed against hers, as she has no NCB to lose and she will not have been in an accident when asked at renewal, while I will have no claim against my insurance so my NCB will not be affected, but my premium will increase as I will have to declare that I have been in an accident that was my fault. Which sounds reasonable, and seem to be the default in this case.
Or can ‘they’ (whoever ‘they’ are) decide to claim on my insurance instead? (Or both???)
I am pretty sure they would like to increase the premium for both if they can!
I didn’t want to ask the company, as I didn’t want to give them ideas, not that they aren’t resourceful enough on their own.
Is my analysis correct above?
Did anyone have similar experience?
Thanks in advance.

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